Feeling Inadequate

She waited breathless,

Heart pounding, eyes wide

A smile, indulgent

For his word.

It was brutal

Losing what wasn’t yours.

Every glance, haunting,

Every touch, a tease

A remainder of what could have been

an Utopian dream.

with her pride wounded,

She looked through the debris,

smiling through her tears,

to find the things she lost.

He kissed her fervently,

eyes apologetic, lips persuasive,

his fingers in her hair,

She smiled into his mouth,

as she succumbed to him,

and then she opened her eyes.

Her tears washing away the dream.

Saw his hazy silhouette walking away

knowing she would never feel his touch,

never be his.

Her subconscious goaded her,

A stubborn cynic, yearning for the approval of one.

Her resilience strained,

the rejection was tangible

almost a physical wrench,

she wasn’t good enough ?

Self worth had  never been her strong suit,

yet she feigned nonchalance.

Shattered though she was,

he didn’t need to know.

No one needed to.

 

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